When someone comes to you with negative feedback, do you get defensive?

Do you automatically come up with reasons why you did something, building a case for the way you did it?

Do you shift the blame onto someone else?

Or does your heart start racing?

If this resonates, you are not alone. It is human to want to defend your choices, actions, and beliefs.

But defensiveness damages our relationships, which is why this episode is all about becoming more aware of defensive behavior and what you can do instead.

I am covering the signs and symptoms of defensiveness, why we get defensive in the first place, and seven strategies you can use to become less defensive.

Download the free guide that goes along with this episode: https://www.terricole.com/7strategie...

If you want to dive even deeper, my pal Mark Groves and I did an amazing 3hour workshop all about transforming the way you communicate in every area of life. Get scripts, tools, and guidance to gracefully navigate challenging discussions, address misunderstandings, and develop a happier, healthier approach toward communication: https://crushingcommunication.com/

Time Stamps
0:00 Introduction
2:06 What is defensiveness?
4:58 Discerning between actual danger & the ego
5:40 How defensive are you? (A checklist)
9:22 Strategies to stop being defensive
19:26 Comment shout out

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   • How to Effectively Communicate During...   How to Effectively Communicate During Conflict
   • Top Ego Defense Mechanisms  Terri Cole   Top Ego Defense Mechanisms
   • Build Unshakeable SelfConfidence Wit...   Build Unshakeable SelfConfidence With These 5 Tips
   • Now is Not Then: Understanding Transf...   Now is Not Then: Understanding Transference

About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary BossThe Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stayathome moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/

Connect With Me
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Resources to Check out
Boundary Boss Book: https://boundarybossbook.com/

Boundary Boss Workbook: https://boundarybossworkbook.com

Insight Timer: https://terricole.com/insighttimer

BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new oneonone therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.

https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.

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