Are you inadvertently being a ‘conversational narcissist’? This term, coined by sociologist Charles Derber, refers to those who habitually steer conversations toward themselves.
When we're speaking with a conversational narcissist, if can leave us feeling overshadowed or dismissed, resulting in frustration and diminished connection.
So, for the sake of our relationships (and our reputation), we want avoid falling into this pattern unintentionally.
How?
Thought something as simple as actively listening. Show you care by being curious and considerate.
Here are 5 simple examples of what NOT to say ❌, followed by a more considerate approach ✅:
"I finally finished the big project I've been working on for weeks."
❌"That's nothing; I just wrapped up a project that took me months to complete!"
✅ "Congrats! That must be a huge relief. How do you feel now that it's done?"
"I'm overwhelmed with my workload.”
❌ "You think what you have is bad? I'm juggling 3 major projects all due the same week!”
✅ "That sounds rough. Have you considered discussing it with your manager?"
"I'm feeling really down today."
❌ "Well, I've been feeling down all week. Let me tell you why...”
✅”Sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
"I had a disagreement with my best friend."
❌ "You wouldn't believe the argument I had with my coworker last week! Let me explain."
✅ "That's tough. What was the disagreement about? Maybe I can help."
"I'm really proud of my progress at the gym."
❌ "Oh, I've been making so much progress too! I've lost 10 pounds already."
✅ "That's great to hear! What have you been doing differently?”
Have you ever been in conversation with a conversational narcissist? What was it like?
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