Way back around 2001 I bought some fake Star Wars figures from Poundland. Now they're on the internet, stinking up your bandwidth like an offcolour Chewbacca. Because that's literally what one of them is.

Standing twice as tall as a real figure and featuring blatantly stolen artwork, the exciting figures from the Galaxy Empire range help you reenact famous scenes from Star Wars in the wrong colour! And don't even ask about Han Solo. Terrifying.

Next up is a pair of fake Darth Vaders which make screeching and banging noises that seem to go on forever. I was genuinely slightly hurt reviewing these, which is always a hit with the audience.

Finally I segue into a Metal Ball Warrior by way of Micronauts and magnets. What's a Metal Ball Warrior? Exactly what it sounds like, disappointingly.