What would you think if you received this text from your partner? Or a friend received this text from their partner?

“If you need to have boundaryless, inappropriate friendships with men, model, post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, or have friendships with women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting lunch or coffee or something respectful, I am not the right partner for you. If these things bring you to a place of happiness I support it and there will be no hard feelings. These are my boundaries for romantic partnership.”

A few weeks ago, Jonah Hill’s exgirlfriend, Sarah Brady, shared a bunch of text messages he sent her when they were dating. Among them was the above list of “boundaries.” As you can imagine, this stirred up a lot of discussion online.

I fell into a Reddit hole about it and was stunned by the amount of misinformation out there about boundaries. People are truly unaware of the differences between coercion, abuse, effective boundaries, and control, which is what this episode is about.

I also talk about the signs of coercive control to watch for and why the Jonah Hill situation is more manipulative than it may seem.

Grab the guide for this episode here: https://www.terricole.com/boundaries...

Time Stamps
0:00 Introduction
2:40 What are boundaries (and what aren't they)?
6:16 What is control?
6:43 What is coercive control?
7:47 Signs of coercive control
11:10 What to do if you're in an abusive relationship
12:02 More signs of manipulation
13:49 Manipulators flipping the script
16:00 Setting boundaries for ourselves

Text messages referenced in the video: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/...

If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
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Resources for Safely Leaving an Abusive Relationship:
*If you are in immediate danger, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline listed below or call 911.

   • How to safely leave an abusive relati...   How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 18007997233 & http://www.thehotline.org/
Women’s Law: http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php
National Network to End Domestic Violence: http://nnedv.org/
Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/
Office on Women’s Health, listing resources by state on violence against women:
https://www.womenshealth.gov/violence...
Domestic Shelters, discussing how to flee an abuser when you are with your children:
https://www.domesticshelters.org/dome...
The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, listing child custody saws by state:
http://www.ncjfcj.org/ourwork/state...

About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary BossThe Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stayathome moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/

Connect With Me
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Community: https://terricole.com/vip
FB Page: https://terricole.com/fb
FB Group: https://terricole.com/fbg
Podcast: https://terricole.com/itunes

Resources to Check out
Boundary Boss Book: https://boundarybossbook.com/

BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new oneonone therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.

https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.

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