An example of rejecting a baby's distress. Find out more at:

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article...

Developing Attachment: Rejecting a Baby's Distress

This is a sample from a full dvd called "A Simple Gift: Comforting Your Baby" which is available to purchase at: http://www.imhpromotion.ca/Resources/...

This video does not constitute medical advice, and is not meant to be used or relied upon by anyone without additional guidance and supervision from a qualified physician. Do not perform the procedures described in this video unless your child's physician has reviewed this video and provides you with specific instructions and directions about performing these procedures.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Watch how this mother responds when her child hurts himself. The baby is signaling he's hurt and he needs comfort, but by making light of his pain, getting annoyed, or are trying to distract him from his plain, his mom is, in effect rejecting him. Whether she means to or not, her response says 'Your pain isn't important to me. You aren't important to me. Get over your pain. Don't bother me with it.' That may not be what she means to tell her baby, but that's how he is going to feel. He'll think 'I'm not worthy of love, care, and affection; and I can't count on her to make me feel better'. What happens to babies whose mothers respond in this kind of rejecting way? They learn eventually to keep their feelings to themselves because they're afraid that their attempts to get reassurance will be laughed at , teased, or rejected or will make their parents angry. That makes it hard, if not impossible, for them to develop close loving relationships with their parents and with other people because they don't feel worthy of love or affection. Watch how the same situation, responded to differently, will send another message to the baby. See how this time the mother picks him up holds him close and calms him while acknowledging that she knows he's hurt. What this tells him is that mom knows I'm her and helps me feel better I'm worthy of her love and attention. This child knows he can count on mom to help him feel better. A child secure in the love of his parent will soon be able to calm himself down when he's hurt. He'll also start to develop a sense of how to make someone else feel better. To feel how someone else must feel when they're hurt and to have an understanding of how to help them is an important part of an emotionally healthy child, adult and future parent. And it's something your child learns from you by how you respond when he's hurt, ill or upset.