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How to Win Friends u0026 Influence People in the Digital Age - 3.14: Access Affinity

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Machiavellian Psychology

In this chapter, the focus is on the importance of building affinity in the digital age to merit and maintain others' trust. Affinity refers to a natural liking or sympathy for someone, and it is a key component in establishing and nurturing relationships, especially in a world where digital interactions often replace facetoface communication.

The chapter outlines several strategies to access affinity in digital communications:

1. Empathetic Listening: This involves truly understanding others' perspectives and feelings, not just waiting for your turn to respond. In digital interactions, this might mean reading between the lines and paying attention to the tone and context of messages.

2. Genuine Interest: Showing sincere interest in others' lives and experiences helps in forming a connection. This can be through thoughtful comments, relevant questions, or engaging in conversations about topics that matter to them.

3. Consistent Engagement: Regular interaction with people helps in building rapport and demonstrates that you value the relationship. This might include regular comments, reactions to posts, or frequent messaging.

4. Positive Reinforcement: Encouraging and supporting others in digital communications fosters positive associations and strengthens relationships. This could be through congratulating achievements, offering words of encouragement, or highlighting strengths.

5. Personalisation: Tailoring your communication to suit the individual shows that you recognise and appreciate their unique identity. This could involve referencing past conversations, acknowledging their interests, or adapting your communication style to match theirs.

The chapter emphasises that building affinity in the digital age requires genuine connections and understanding. It's a skill that, when mastered, can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships, both personally and professionally.


Arm yourself with knowledge and insights about manipulation techniques so that you can navigate your way through life without being taken advantage of.

Use the power of influence to orchestrate situations so that you don't find yourself getting thrown under the bus or if you do, you can manoeuvre your way out!

posted by usluziue