I’m just talking about how much I miss my friend. After seeing me fall out of reality 3 times the barriers in the relationship grew too big to knock down so I folded and walked away. I talk about how the dynamic in the relationship changed and how it made me feel. I truly miss my friend. I don't miss feeling like the crazy friend that's unpredictable and might blow up and ruin a party. I don't miss feeling like I'm forcing myself on someone just so they will be my friend. And I certainly don't miss causing my friends pain. I don't have many friends anymore but the ones I do are kick ass to keep me around, so that's the bright side. By the way every time I do these videos I become more and more self conscience about my scars I always feel like I have to explain or point them out even though I'm sure most people don't even notice. Self esteem has always been an issue for me but it's so much harder these days. Maybe tomorrow I'll show you guys my scars.