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I’m Afraid of Love

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RainbowRager

I'm RainbowRager, but you can just call me Ethan.

Welcome to my channel! I am an artist/animator, and I create animations/drawn stories that I want to share with an audience. This channel is mainly a place where I get to express my creativity and to just be myself, because I'm way too insecure to talk about it in public because I have social anxiety.

My purpose on YouTube is to have fun and practice my artistic abilities. Fame and money is not important to me. I only really make these videos as my escape from the internet because it's a dangerous place.

Feel free to stick around! Or not. That's okay. I'm used to it.



Intro Music: DEAMN Sign
   • DEAMN  Sign (Lyric)  

Outro Music: Ikson Alive
   • Ikson  Alive  



This is probably the most controversial topic I'll ever cover. Now, I feel like one of our society's problems is the way we see love, and the way it is portrayed in comparison to how it is in reality. People tend to identify relationships and romance as an important step in life, and apparently it is something that everyone should get into. When I was still young, I was influenced by the idea of love and how everyone eventually gets into the ordeal. However, I was never fond of the idea, but I kept thinking that it's an inevitable experience for us humans to experience love, intimacy and marriage, no matter how we feel towards others. This kinda hurt me as I got a bit older. There were many teenagers that I've been surrounded by that are idealizing romance, crushes, and relationships. It baffled me to see how there were people my age, some younger than my age, that are already getting into the idea of romance, and I wasn't. It made me feel left out, because I thought it happens to everyone early in life, but I wasn't getting that treatment that everyone else was feeling. And now, I've fallen into a difficult spot about relationships. I'm afraid that it'll put me in a bad position that may affect the life of others, including myself. If I stay single, people will think I'm lonely. If I get into a relationship, it feels like I'm doing it for other people's happiness. Love is awful.

I also covered another topic that I'm generally too afraid to talk about, but I think it's best to touch on it at least once. I have also fallen into a bad position about my sexuality when I went through my earlymid teenage era. I struggled with figuring out my sexuality, and I questioned myself for a while. With absolutely no experience in romance, and not having the eyes towards anyone, I was given no evidence about who I was, and who I'm attracted to. Again, people my age, some younger than me already started developing their own orientation, which pressured me to find out too. But honestly? I'm not a fan of them. It's a lot more freeing to be myself without having to put a title on it. It doesn't fit right with me, and I honestly should have never discussed it with myself in the first place. At least, not once I figure out what that sexuality is and accept myself. Sexualities are awful.

posted by infattizh