INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often struggle in romantic relationships and attract dysfunctional partners. This tendency to choose partners with dysfunctional behavior stems from the INFJ or INFP’s relationship with a parent in childhood. Many INFJs and INFPs grow up with narcissistic parents, or codependent parents with whom they experience enmeshment. These types of parentchild relationships tend to be extremely onesided, with the INFJ or INFP frequently acting more like a parent than their actual parent.

Because of this dynamic that they experience growing up, many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types become accustomed to onesided relationships. Since they have never experienced anything else, they subconsciously believe that a loving relationship is always onesided, with them taking on the role of the caretaker. In adulthood, INFJ personality types and INFP personality types bring this same dynamic to romantic relationships, and so it’s not uncommon for INFJs and INFPs to end up with narcissistic partners, who thrive on taking all the energy of the INFJ or INFP, and never giving anything back.

The key to dissolving this dysfunctional dynamic in romantic relationships is to understand that a truly loving relationship is an exchange of support, not a onesided caretaking situation. Making this shift will might feel uncomfortable to INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, because it will feel so new and unfamiliar, but if they can commit to doing things differently and experimenting with a new dynamic, the quality of their romantic relationships has the potential to improve significantly, and the INFJ or INFP in question can finally feel like they are seen and validated for who they are in a close, loving relationship.

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