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Are you tired of feeling anxious and stressed about the future? Do you feel that the more you try to control your life, the more out of control you actually feel?
In this video, I'm gonna show you the negative side effects of trying to control your life. I'm gonna show you the positive benefits of letting go of control and how embracing uncertainty is the key to happiness, presence, and actually feeling safe in this moment now.
The first thing to understand about letting go of control is, why are we actually controlling anyways? Why do we wanna control what's happening in our reality?
Why do we wanna control what other people think about us? The reason we are controlling aspects of our life is because our ego wants to survive. Our ego wants to remain in familiar energy patterns that it learned growing up.
And the challenge is that then, as we grow up and things in our life change, we many times will fight to keep similar childhood dynamics in our life that recreate that sense of familiarity.
Now, look at this. This is something that's very interesting about it. The word familiar actually has within it the word familial. Like familial, that's the root word (laughing) of the word, which means family.
So in a way, when we're fighting for familiar, we're fighting to recreate similar energies that we experienced growing up.
There's a familial energy there, familial, family. Now, when it comes to letting go, this is, I wanna share a little story with this too of something I realized recently with doing a certain type of somatic transformation, energy, like, you know, being in the body and releasing energy.
There was something that came up for me that made me realize why I have struggled in my life to let go of control.
And this is gonna sound a little bit interesting, but it's gonna wire in this understanding that we create and we are addicted to the familiar. Now, think of it like this.
This is a box that is around our ego. This is our ego. This is our body. We have this box around it. And we have within this box certain rules that keep us within the known or familiar.
And these rules are the way reality should work, the way people should respond to us, and it keeps us in this metaphorical box. Now, outside of this box, we have the magic, the unknown.
They say that all magic happens in the unknown. Yet, there maybe could be something even more magical than we could possibly imagine that could come into our life if we embrace the unknown, but sometimes the familiar feels more safe.
It feels more, like something that we're used to and the ego just wants to survive. The ego doesn't necessarily wanna thrive. Now, freedom is also outside of this box of the known, of the familiar.
Now, one of the realizations I had in my own life was actually energetically connecting to my body, feeling present in my body, and realizing that there was a certain memory that came up for me that made me aware of why I control certain aspects of my life.
And let me just give you an example of this. Like, sometimes I've had tendencies to where, if I'm dieting or something, I want my physique to look a certain way, I'll micromanage the calories I eat and become like neurotic about it, where it's like a game.
I'm in MyFitnessPal just like concocting up exactly what I can eat for the day, 'cause I also love food. And it becomes something where I'm just overly controlling it. I think awareness is powerful, but you can overdo anything.
There's times within my business that I become controlling, too controlling about how everything could be. I know that when I even first started on YouTube, for the first like year and a half, I edited every single YouTube video that went on YouTube because I couldn't trust someone to edit.
They're not gonna edit the way that I want to, the way that I wanted it. And eventually, I realized, wait, I'm spending so much time editing, it's such a basic thing that like I, my editing was so simple.
If you go back to my older videos especially, it was literally like just me talking, there were no cuts, and there was an intro and an outro. And like, an intro and outro music. Like it was so simple. For some reason, I couldn't let go of that.
I had these beliefs that somebody else, if I give it to somebody else, it's gonna crumble and die. No one's gonna value it as much as me. But that kept me having to work very hard in order for like to keep me feeling safe within my business.
Now, this memory that I had when I was working with this somatic coach, I was going into my body and I was feeling different, kind of like energetically going to certain times of my past and childhood to like kind of heal the past version of me.