Filmed 12.02.2021

Hey guys! Sorry to spring such a bummer video with some heavy topics on you with no warning. Like I said though in my video, I wanted to get this out there and just let you in on my life. All of you are so wonderful and have sent me such kind messages that have really made my day. It really does feel like we're friends. It makes sense to me to share these things with you so that I can come back and start to move forward. It was hard to just share these things in an Instagram message and unload it that way on those of you that reached out. So I hope you understand my decision to just put it out into the world in this format.

I hope that you understand. I may not have always explained myself well during this video, but like I said my thoughts were just kind of all over the place and I did the best I could to communicate them.

Some days are so much easier than others, but I have grieved my losses and I'm ready to come back to my hobby that brings me so much joy. In no way do I ever want to forget my baby, because it was a very wanted and loved baby, and I don't think it's something that anyone ever forgets. I don't know if I vocalized that piece well in my video.

So, this video was filmed on 12.02 like I said and I have taken the time to be with my husband and family during this difficult time. My husband and I talked about sharing this part of our lives online and we each agreed that this would be good and a part of the healing process. I am only bringing this up, because my original plan was to upload this at the beginning of December and then start posting regular makeup content in January 2022. Obviously that plan did not work out. My husband had a bit of a scare and had to be admitted to the hospital in the beginning of December for AFib. He's fine now and back to his routine, but I wanted to be fully there for him during that time. That also happened after I filmed this and I just could not bring myself to sit down and film this video again. I still want to start uploading regular content in January 2022. I just don't want it to seem like I'm rushing or brushing these things off.

Again, I just really thank you all for your continued love and support especially during my absence. I want 2022 to be a much better year and I am ready for it.