No shade, but I know I'm not the only one imagining a world where Alyssa Edwards got to compete in the RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 2 Finale. She would have SLAYED the last challenge! Here's what I think her rap verse might've been like, if she hadn't been eliminated:
"Hello girls, distinguished judges.
Why you clutchin' your pearls? Alyssa don't hold grudges.
If I'm givin' you chills, you can take my sweater,
'Cuz I don't get bitter; I just get better.
Now, I know I made a lovely 5th alternate,
But ain't nobody been able to get rid of me yet,
'Cuz I'm The Queen that y'all can't clock,
Sure as hickory is dickory and dickory's (tongue pop)!
If you're gonna whine like a little pup,
Bitch, sit your ass down and shut the hell up!
But if you're a BEAST, lemme hear you ROAR,
Just don't get cute, get drop dead gorgeous!
______ Oh, you thought I was done?
Well, you're better off knowin' that I'm not the one.
And though I’ve got about a couple dozen faux fur stoles,
I can I turn backrolls to hashtag goals!
If you wonder what Alyssa’s Secret’s all about,
That's for me to know and for you to find out!
But I'll tell ya a little somethin' that I learned in the biz:
It's that winning isn't everything, but wanting to is.
Mirror, mirror, in my hand
I'm the Queen Supreme and I'm Extremely Grand!
Lemme find my glasses and I'll read your blouse.
If you think you can step, then step into my Haus."