Lending friends and family money is dangerous and even more dangerous is starting a business with a friend or a family member in good faith.

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1. Changes the Relationship
In my entire family, I’m one of the youngest ( but also the oldest because I learn from a lot of old people )
And the first time I ever lent anyone money was my cousin
I lent him somewhere around $700 to $1000 around four years ago ( 67 years older )

Here is why and the facts:
He had a job but was having a problem staying above water with all the bills ( something about a phone bill I remember)
And he also had a girlfriend or something like that
And the idea was, hey I’ll borrow this money from you and pay you back on weekly bases to finish fast ( and he did that for a while )

Then something else:
He knew I was a photographer at the time ( aka I had a camera and could take pictures )
And ask me to help him with his wedding and he would pay me
I did the wedding and sent him the pictures and boom

The results:
He stopped calling and never paid me the loan or wedding
When I spoke to his mom, my aunt, she said that she was embarrassed and he was also embarrassed but he just doesn’t have the money
So it went from me looking up to my older cousin to me just disappointed

Ending:
He texts randomly every few months or years and tells me his going to pay me back ( but that’s yet to happen )
We use to speak frequently but now we don’t
It changes the relationship ( debtor is always a slave to the lender)

2. I recommend you don’t do it ( but do it right if you're going to do it ) and prepare to lose the entire relationship
You need a contract, text is cool for verbile agreements but they are not enough
If you are going to lend a family member money you need to have a promissory note ( a contract that declares that the person agrees to pay you and is notarised )

What happens is this:
When you signed this contract your family member puts in their social security, id, and address and agrees to pay you this money
And accepts all the consequences if he gets sued
Now this doesn’t sound like something you do with friends and family does it ( that’s why I say just don’t even lend them money)

The worst that can happen is this:
They pay you but they are no longer the friend or family member you use to love
Or they don’t pay you and sue them, and then you’ll have a different type of problem
It's just best to avoid it overall

3. So What do you do instead
I have a brother that always have great business ideas and always needs money to do them
He doesn’t have a job, has 3 kids, and still lives with his mom
Does the sounds like a good person to lend money to (no), but you might want to lend them money to help them get out of that

Quote: you can't help someone that doesn’t help themselves or doesn’t want to be helped

What I do:
Whenever he or any family member askes me for my money, which is rarely ( I say I don’t lend people money, and I don’t have extra money but If I do get something I can help you )
So usually once or twice a year I might send $20 his way or someone else's way
But this doesn’t change the relationship

But also keep in mind:
If everything you visit a family, you have to give them money
Sometimes you just don’t even go because you feel like its something you need to do
But that’s bs, go and if they ask to say, I just don’t have any money right now ( confrontation is good sometimes )

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