Jack Goodings talks about when your estranged alienated adult child contacts you and what it could look like.

Parental alienation can lead to 'estrangement' due to false narratives, perceived threats of you, the indoctrination of their beliefs of you lacking credibility as a parent, and the message they've been given that it's ok to treat you poorly, no compassion, empathy or regard for you as 'parent'. Adding to this, alienated children can also 'estrange' due to the alienated parent's 'reactions' to being treated this way, to being gaslit, having their parental agency hijacked to trying to navigate an impossible relentless ongoing situation of having their children becoming more emotionally and physically distant. The children internalize it, they see your reactive state, this confirms your threat to them, the things the alienating parent is saying about you being unstable. And one too many reactions, the adult child distances themselves for their own safety.

There's a good chance that they'll come back very different from how you remembered your relationship with them as children, you as 'present' parent. Being prepared for their return is key to a successful first building block in reforming a new relationship with your estranged alienated adult child. How might this 'return' look?

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