Disabled people don't owe you their story!

Just because we're #disabled , strangers think they can ask us all sorts of questions they'd never ask a nondisabled person but 'What happened to you?' is the one that comes up most often & it's so frustrating.

When I was first diagnosed I always answered, constantly reliving my medical trauma, in the hopes of raising awareness when in reality that lady on the bus in 2018 has never thought about me or my conditions again. So now I simply say, 'oh I'm just disabled' & hope people are too flummoxed to ask a follow up.

There are several reasons why it's not okay to ask a disabled person what happened to them.

First, ask yourself why you're asking & what you'll do with that information, if it's simply curiosity it's not okay because you wouldn't ask anyone else for that level of personal info. It's like asking a stranger for their recent blood test results, a bit weird. If you need to know it's better to ask 'what are your access needs' or 'do you require xyz today?' because that's the information you need to help them & not their personal details.

Second, a lot of people are born with their disabilities so it's a little ignorant to think something must have happened to them to make them disabled. Also many disabled people are still searching for answers & don't have a diagnosis which makes questions like this tough.

Finally & most importantly it can be extremely traumatic for disabled people to be expected to relive trauma every time someone asks this. Disability can be caused after an accident or if someone is the victim of a crime or if someone has faced medical trauma or negligence. Nobody wants to have to think about that every time a curious stranger wants to know what happened so have a little compassion & think before you ask.

Remember that disabled people don't owe you a diagnosis, they don't owe you a serious answer to a rude question & they definitely don't owe you their personal & potentially traumatic medical history.

Share this to your stories to help more people realise this isn't okay & let me know how you answer this question in the comments!

#DisabilityEducation #DisabilityAwareness #Disability